I don´t know why I find so hard to trust on someone.
I feel fear, fear of being judged, fear of not being accepted. Because of all the trobules I´ve been through, I got to the point that I wasn´t sure if I was crazy or not. That´s what I fear most, being crazy, being insane.
Two years have passed, and I still haven´t told my parents I´ve wanted to commit suicide. The only thing I could think about was that they were going to take me to some kind of psychiatric hospital and leave me there till my "ilness" was healed.
I didn´t want to be classified as a person who has some kind of mental disorder, I don´t have anything against them It´s just that I don´t know. I just didn´t want to. It´s up to date that I don´t know why I was so terrified about that, but I just felt like it.
Another cause of my trust issues, is that in the past, I´ve trusted on persons who I thought were friends, but they showed me they weren´t. Those persons who I wrongly used to call friends, used to make fun of that, while they were laughing about it, I remember I thought "You are making fun of what could have been the end of my life" What a funny joke...
Well that´s basically the truth about why I don´t feel comfortable when I need to talk with someone cause I have a problem, but well I¨ve found a few persons that I know are reliable.
If you read this and you are curious about it, the answer is NO, I´m not crazy and I haven´t got any kind of mental illness, it´s just that it took me some time to understand it.
La vida no vino con instrucciones, Entenderse y conocerse es dificil, y aun lo es mas con las demas personas, no se puede esperar nada de nadie, porque asi como tu o como yo, todos tienen problemas, dudas, miedos, etc. Creo q el dia en q confiemos plenamente en los demas es xq confiaremos plenamente en nosotros mismos.. <3
ResponderEliminarSi me interesa, escribes muy bien. Me agrada esa falta de confianza, a veces es mejor aplicar esta frase de Beethoven: "No confíes tu secreto ni al más íntimo amigo; no podrías pedirle discreción si tú mismo no la has tenido." Por que? Porque no sabes q hay en la mente de la otra persona, desconoces como reaccionara y demas.. apoyo el no confiar en nadie, pongo un ejemplo, el mio, confie muchas veces no me rendia .. tenia la utopica creencia q en alguien podia confiar, terminaron destruyendo mucho en mi. No te digo q hay q alvergar odio en nuestro corazon .. xq si no tendremos un corazon pequeño (Como dice Victor Hugo) pero si te digo q no te mortifiques xq tu parte sensible no se preste para ser compartida con alguien mas. Saludos desde Venezuela!
ResponderEliminar